From The Darkness
by Allerie
Summary: Post IWTB - that vacation and what happened next. MSR, nothing explicit, hopefully true to character. Reviews very welcome.
1. Chapter 1

Intro: Post IWTB. That vacation to escape the darkness, and what happened next.

Theme: MSR, nothing explicit, hopefully true to character.

Chapter One: Setting the scene. Minimal dialogue, but that's all to come. Please read and review - I hope you like my indulgent imaginings. Al. x

**Catch Her If You Can...**

It'd been a rough few weeks. She wasn't used to fighting with Mulder – they'd had their disagreements like any couple but for the best part of the past few years, without the pressure of the X-Files weighing heavy upon them, they'd enjoyed a happy relationship. Albeit a slightly unconventional one.

Mulder led a solitary existence writing his book. It was intended a psychoanalytical piece documenting the effects of major trauma on those affected by the government's major cock-ups of the past twenty years; instead it had turned into more of a personal memoir, and was closer to a self-psychoanalysis than that of other people he'd turned up in his investigations over the years. Either way, he enjoyed his work and it kept him focused and structured at home while Scully progressed her medical career at a local Catholic hospital.

They were happy enough, but their life together didn't come without it's emotional burdens. They rarely talked about the son they lost out on a beautiful life with, but they acknowledged each other's pain on a daily basis. Scully thought about her child every morning as soon as she woke up. She never "got over it" as such, but she'd learned to cope with the devastation and constant aching in her gut for the son they could have shared so much happiness and love with.

They both had so much love inside them, and Mulder couldn't help thinking how much that little boy was missing out on. Scully would have been the most wonderful mother, and he would have been a great Dad; fun, supportive, encouraging and nurturing. He'd always be there for his son to help him achieve his full potential, be that in academia, baseball or even finding his way in the world as a person. He also thought about William every day. The problem was that he had an expanse of time on his hands for his mind to wander.

Going back to work as a doctor was the best thing Scully could have done. Not only was it keeping her busy and occupying her thoughts, but it ignited a spark in her that had never fully been extinguished during all that time as an FBI agent in DC. She always had a passion and a flare for medicine, and going back to her roots almost brought out the young and fun loving side of her personality again. She thrived off her work and dearly cared for every patient she treated. Her work was fulfilling, and Mulder was glad to have a content partner come home to him every night…or morning.

Despite the burdensome times there had been plenty of laughter throughout their time together, both as friends and lovers. Perhaps that was what made their relationship so unfaltering, the fact that it had its deep-set roots in a mutually respectful friendship. Though he knew from the moment he saw her that she _had_ to be in his life for a long, long time.

He often thought back to that first moment she walked into his office. He was having another annoying day in the basement - getting nowhere, feeling entirely unsupported by his senior team. They laughed at his projects and thought it farcical that he ever called what he did "work", but he longed to be busy, brimming with work to investigate and analyse. And when Dana Scully first introduced herself that morning, he longed for her company every single day after that moment. He sensed she was sent to restrict his work and shut the X-Files down, but she was a beautiful person to have around him and he was therefore determined to give her the biggest run for her money that he could muster. Little did he know it'd take her nine years to drag him away from his filing cabinet.

It hadn't taken them long to forge a great friendship. Laughter in the pouring rain on their first case together, followed by sweet glances and an exciting unspoken attraction that kept them completely engaged with one another for all those years after. It was only when Mulder first considered a life without Scully in it, when she was suffering with cancer, that he began to truly understand his feelings for her. He was heartbroken, shattered from the inside out at the prospect of losing her. Teamed with the unbearable guilt for having lured her into his world of danger and conspiracy, he felt a desperate pain inside his chest for the woman who lay in a hospital bed, getting weaker with each passing day.

He understood it then. He _loved_ her. Perhaps more than any woman before her. He couldn't bear to live without her, so much so that it was too upsetting to even think about. He did all his crying alone, or at her bedside while she slept. It ate away at him and he writhed around in his bed at night with the intense emotional guilt and fear of life without the woman he had fallen so deeply for.

That first night they'd spent together was almost seven years in the making. To say it was passionate and never-ending would be an understatement. It was unlike any experience he'd ever had before. They held onto each other so tightly that she left scratches on his back and shoulders. If either of them woke up that morning wondering if any of it was real, the state of their bodies were all the proof they needed, bruised with the reality of it all. Yet it was perfect. And as strange and unbelievable as it might seem, there wasn't any awkwardness between them – it was a natural moment in time between them. It still gave her butterflies when she thought back to that night.

Their recent disagreement about his return to the FBI and the X-Files was a serious one; it didn't involve jovial underhand jibes about each other's unconventional existence. Were they really verging on breaking up? Surely it would take more than this? And what they had was so precious that it was worth fighting for. But she'd made it clear that this was no joke and she seriously wanted their life to be free of darkness. It couldn't be that way if he went back to chasing bad guys. She'd done one of the most difficult things any partner can do…she presented him with an ultimatum and she knew it wasn't likely to end well. Cue self-defence mechanism and engage brick walls.

He already knew what he was going to say when she came downstairs that morning. He'd slept in their spare bedroom, sensing Scully needed some space to think and to consider the discussion they'd had at the hospital. They both needed time to do that. He needed time to think about what he wanted more in his life. When he heard the front door click and her booted footsteps across the decking on their porch, he darted out to speak to her without wasting any more precious seconds they had.

He'd resided himself to the fact that he'd chosen Scully over a life of chasing alien conspiracies. She made him happy, comforted him and gently kissed him goodbye every morning when she brought him his refill of coffee to his office…no X-File ever made him feel that complete. No X-File brought him coffee.

There's a lot to be said about true love.

"And then let's get out of here", he laced her hair through his fingers.

"As far away from the darkness as we can get?" she asked, an air of sadness and desperate hope in her voice.

As soon as she'd driven away he went back to his computer and booked their vacation. The more remote, the better.

He just hoped the in-flight meal was decent, or heads would roll…


	2. Chapter 2 - Pep Talking

_A/N - Apologies for being slow at uploading new chapters. I have a super busy job and this indulgence might be slow to take shape, but hopefully will be worth it. Thanks for the encouragement and reviews. Al. x_

"My God, Dana. You look _amazing_!" – a gentle southern Irish lilt graced her husky voice.

Scully didn't have a lot of friends at work, but her colleague Nicole brought out the best in her socially.

She closed her eyes and stifled a soft, shy giggle: "Thank you. But I can't believe how wonderful _you_ look after having a baby two months ago!" Her eyes widened and she smiled broadly at her beautifully curvaceous friend, their mouths falling open in a mirrored expression of delight to be in each other's company again.

Neither of the friends had really wanted to attend their colleague's wedding, especially with it being outdoors in early March. People's optimism never failed to surprise. But when they knew each other would be there, it was a done deal.

Scully had missed seeing Nicole at work since she'd been away on maternity leave. The young yet exceptionally professional doctor reminded Scully of herself sometimes, and she often wondered if her life would be more like Nicole's if she'd pursued a career in medicine rather than the FBI. Nicole was in her early thirties and outstandingly sharp – she had a reputation at the hospital for being the most well organised person in the building and her manner was so wonderfully warm. Throughout her pregnancy she'd prepared meticulous handover notes on each of her patients, including photos and fun facts on each individual so as to make her absence more bearable. Scully had, of course, read each and every file with due care and attention, knowing she'd be taking on several of Nicole's patients during her maternity leave.

They were a force to be reckoned with, and Scully's heart warmed to know she'd made a real friend despite being so far away from home.

"Och, well, I probably have a long way to go but I just want to concentrate on being a mammy more than losing weight, y'know?" – Nicole spoke quickly, her voice warm and kind.

"You're right. It's actually really refreshing to hear someone say that". Scully smiled, trying not to feel a pang of jealousy for her friend's new experience of motherhood.

"I think they're friends for life over there", Nicole looked over Scully's shoulder and pointed in the direction of her husband and Mulder, sitting at one of the wrought iron table and chair sets beneath a patio lamp. Both were enjoying the champagne as well as the company; Mulder had cheekily lifted a bottle of it from one of the waiters' trays and done them all a favour.

"No kidding", Scully added, as she turned to look at the two men laughing together. After all these years her heart still fluttered when she caught sight of Mulder. In fact, it skipped a beat every time she looked at him after she'd not seen him for mere hours. Tonight he looked as handsome as ever, smartly dressed in his tux yet casually and confidently leaning across the patio table towards Patrick: the usual paradox of persona.

Patrick was half English and worked as an avionics technician in the Air Force. He was equally good looking, and he too was an Oxford graduate. Though he and Mulder were students there at different times, it was a small world and they'd discovered they had several mutual friends. They also shared fond memories of sampling the local ales in various popular "licensed establishments", shall we say...

"I'm glad that Fox is getting out and about more now. I know you were worried with him being at home so much". Nicole drew Scully's attention back to the conversation and Scully looked down at her champagne flute.

"Yeah, it's actually been a-…a strange couple of weeks, to be honest". Her speech was slightly disjointed, making it clear she was hesitant to get the words out.

"Oh really..?", her friend looked at her with genuine concern, scanning her face for some movement and urging her to elaborate.

"Iiiis…it something you want to talk about?" she pressed with caution.

Scully opened her mouth and glanced back at Mulder before quietly continuing.

"We…ok, where to start", she rolled her eyes and pushed her head back, looking to the dusky sky. "We kinda had a pretty serious talk about…_us_…I think. Aaaaand, it's all still a bit open ended and I'm feeling quite confused about everything. About what I'm supposed to do with a partner who actively seeks out the darkness in the world".

"I don't understand, Dana. Has something happened?" She spoke with a direct tone. There's no point beating around the bush if you're trying to help someone.

Scully sighed, knowing she just needed to stop hesitating and just explain her feelings for once.

"We got called back to the FBI to help out on a case. I don't even know how any of it happened or why it had to be now. But I'm concerned that he got too swept in to it all again. We ran away from all that and I thought we'd settled into something resembling a normal existence. I hesitated telling him that the Bureau had sent agents to me at the hospital for fear that he'd leap at the opportunity to come out of this…hiding. But then my conscience got the better of me and I talked him into going back to DC. Maybe I just wanted to see his heart race like it used to? He didn't even want to go, was it not for me persuading him…I mean, I…pushed him into it in the first place, I guess?"

-"and now you're worried you've shot yourself in the foot by giving him a delectable taste of that life again?" Nicole added with raised eyebrows.

Nicole knew bits and pieces of their past. Nothing seemed to phase her and she never asked any particularly obtrusive questions – another reason they were such good friends. Scully hadn't shared _all_ the details of her life before this, but enough for Nicole to know a thing or two about Mulder's hunger and quest for the truth.

"I think so." She nodded. "Hypocritically, I gave him a taste of it…and then I expressly told him that I don't want to go back to those cases ever again." She laughed her way through the ridiculous situation she'd put herself in. Her eyes widened -"And I don't! I don't want that darkness looming in to our lives anymore."

"And did his heart race like it used to? Did you both get your fix and satisfy a longing?" Nicole was on to something and Scully couldn't deny it.

"Yes. But that's what's worrying me now".

"You're worried he wants to go back to chasing bad guys, and you've told him you'll not be going with him. So perhaps he'll just go back without you one day because the lure is so strong? You're wondering if that life makes his heart race faster than you do?"

Scully nodded.

"And what do you honestly think he wants? Most of all, I mean."

Scully looked dead into her friend's dark green eyes and shrugged her shoulders with a pout. "He says he's made his choice and it's here with me, but I can't stop thinking that he still wants to go back to that existence. I don't know if we'll ever be free of it." Scully's voice began to shake slightly with choked emotion.

She glanced back once again, seeming unable to relax without checking her partner was still talking with Patrick.

"Well," started Nicole as she placed a hand on Scully's forearm, "here's what I'm going to suggest. I think the two of you need to have a serious discussion about your priorities at present." They both nodded and smiled.

"Because Dana, from what you tell me he's pretty much sacrificed everything to indulge you in this life you've always wanted; to be a doctor. It sounds to me like you're both too afraid to hash this one out, but I guarantee it'll be worth it. I don't know Fox that well, but I can see a man who'll ultimately do anything to make you happy. I mean, he sits in that house on his own while you pursue your career…and he never says a word. You tempt him back to a glimpse of the life he left behind so he could be with you and then you give him the ultimatum of you or that. That's confusing stuff, hon. I can imagine it's hard to know what he's really thinking anymore."

She needed the pep talk. It was all true, and since the case several weeks ago they'd not spoken much at all – things were definitely feeling strained and it was exhausting.

"I don't know what he's thinking _most_ of the time" Scully highlighted, with a surprised tone of realisation in her voice.

"Look, every relationship reaches these points. It's probably not helpful for me to compare our situations but Patrick and I went our separate ways a few years ago and it almost broke me apart, Dana. Seriously. We'd been together for almost six years and the communication just broke down because we were too nervous to deal with the really heavy stuff. I didn't want children but Patrick did…and I wasn't prepared to budge so I thought I needed to just walk away. Which is so ridiculous when I look back at it now. Lily's the absolute joy of my world!"

Scully's eyes were beginning to glisten with moisture and her friend knew she'd perhaps said enough for one conversation.

She winced, awash with guilt and jolted by the realisation. "You're right-"

"I'm always right, Doctor Scully" Nicole quipped with a jovial wink. "Now, come on before the boys drink all of that fizz without us".

She linked Scully's arm and they paced towards their partners with a smile.

As they said their goodbyes in the lobby of the stately home, there was plenty of chattering to drown out the finer details of any conversation that was taking place.

Mulder had to admit he'd had a great time, and though he'd paid his compliments to the blushing bride, he still knew that Scully was the most stunning woman in the room. Her hair was loosely pinned up at the back with a rose that Mulder had picked from one of the bushes while they were out in the gardens; long ringlets fell softly against her slender neck. She was dressed in a floor length golden silk gown with huge flowers printed across it, embellished around the single shoulder strap with tiny sequins that caught the light beautifully.

_All_ of her caught the light beautifully.

He gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek as he wrapped her pashmina around her shoulders and stepped away while she continued to greet people goodbye.

"Don't forget about me, handsome!" He jumped, startled by the lovely Nicole toppling on her tiptoes to peer over his shoulder.

She let out a raspy laugh as she spun Mulder around by the shoulders and they leapt into a hug. He couldn't help but melt with laughter at her infectious giggle and they swung side to side with champagne induced joy.

"How could I?!" he exclaimed.

"Talk to your woman" – she had her lips pressed close to his ear. "If you don't decide very quickly what it is that you want, and if you don't do something about it soon, she's gonna fly away hon."

He didn't know exactly what she was talking about, but it was quite clear that Scully had confided in her closest friend about the recent question mark over the future of their relationship.

They broke their hug and Nicole gave Mulder a big kiss on the cheek before widening her eyes at him with a friendly but fierce warning.

Something in his stomach lurched forward as she looked at him intently, and he knew she was right.

He needs to tell Scully…


End file.
